How to wean from breastfeeding (how to stop breastfeeding)

Did you know that worldwide, the natural age of weaning from breastfeeding varies between 2 years and 7 years of age?

Weaning is the process of stopping breastfeeding. Some people call this drying up breastmilk. This process begins when foods and/or drinks other than breastmilk are introduced to your baby (eg. Starting solids or introducing formula) as your baby will naturally breastfeed less often until eventually, they stop breastfeeding altogether. The time the process of weaning will take will be different for each mum and baby. When weaning is led by the baby, it can take months or years. When led by mum, the process can be shorter if she prefers. The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends babies are exclusively breastfed until 6 months and then continue breastfeeding along with eating solid foods up to age 2 or beyond if mum and baby wish. 

When considering weaning, it is important to think about why you want to. If it’s because you’re ready and you want to, then that’s great. If you’re doing it because you’re feeling pressured by someone else (eg. Partner, your parents or in laws, friends or your doctor), then don’t do it! Breastfeeding is about you and your baby and if you’re happy with how things are going, then you don’t need to change a thing. No one else gets to have a say.

Some reasons others may use to convince you to wean:

• Slow weight gain
• Low supply
• Your baby has colic
• You have sore/cracked nipples, sore breasts or mastitis
• Your baby is not sleeping through the night
• Your baby will rely on you too much
• You’re returning to work soon
• Your baby is unsettled
• Your milk isn’t nutritious or fatty enough
• Your baby is sick
• You are sick
• Your baby is biting you when feeding
• Your baby is refusing the breast
• You are pregnant and still breastfeeding

None of these are reasons you should wean (unless that’s what you want). Some breastmilk is usually better than no breastmilk. If your doctor is telling you to wean before you’re ready because of a medical concern for you or your baby, be sure to let them know you would like to continue and ask about alternative options. If you’re unsure about the advice you’ve been given, you can always get a second opinion for peace of mind. If you have questions about continuing to breastfeed in any of these situations, you might like to work with an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) to work out what’s going on and help you work out a plan. You can book a home visit or online consultation with me HERE.

How do I wean from breastfeeding?

Some things you should know before you start:

1. Weaning can be a one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of process sometimes.
2. If your situation allows it, weaning gradually over time is ideal for both mum and baby. This reduces the risks of getting blocked ducts and mastitis and gives your baby time to adjust to the big transition happening in their life.
3. When your baby breastfeeds less, your supply will reduce (supply = demand). It can take time for the milk to completely stop.
4. There may be times when you need to express for comfort if your breasts are getting overfull. This means expressing just a little until your breasts feel more comfortable, not until empty. This is temporary and will be needed less and less as your breasts slow down milk production.

The process of weaning will look different depending on your baby’s age.

Weaning a baby less than 12 months old

Babies under 12 months still get most of their nutrition from breastmilk or formula. Your baby’s breastmilk feeds will need to be replaced with donor breastmilk or formula until they are 12 months old to meet the nutritional needs of your baby and allow them to grow and develop. Donor milk or formula can be given with a cup, sippy cup or bottle. Cups can be used (with assistance) from birth. More info on cup feeding HERE. Sippy cups can be used from around 4-6 months of age.

Try substituting one feed at a time rather than stopping suddenly as this will allow your breasts to slow down production gradually and reduces the risks of you developing blocked ducts or mastitis. Starting with the feed your baby is the least interested in can be helpful. You can drop a feed every day or every week or anywhere in between that suits you.

Avoid letting your baby comfort suck at the breast as this will stimulate your breasts to make more milk. Some mums find it helpful to offer a dummy if their baby is particularly unsettled and likes to suck for comfort.

Express for comfort if you’re feeling super full and sore.

Offer your baby lots of cuddles and attention during this time so they are still getting the closeness they’re used to, but in a different way.

Weaning a baby older than 12 months

Babies older than 12 months (toddlers) do not need their breastmilk feeds replaced with donor milk or formula. It is important to make sure they are eating a variety of foods and drinking water, so they continue getting what they need to grow and develop.

It helps to be consistent, so your toddler doesn’t get confused.

Gradual weaning gives your toddler time to adjust to their changing routine and can be less stressful for both mum and baby.

Many mums find it helpful to drop the breastfeed their toddler is least interested in first.

Talking to your toddler can help them to understand what’s happening. Toddlers under 18 months may not understand completely, but it is possible to set boundaries with older toddlers such as only breastfeeding at home or at a certain time of day or only staying on the breast for [insert number of minutes] – set an alarm or countdown to show time to finish.

Many mums find it helpful not to offer the breast to their toddler, but not to refuse if they ask for it.

A distracted toddler may go a while without feeding without even noticing.  Try distractions like a fun activity, going for a walk, offering food or drink instead. Enlisting help from friends or family to distract your toddler can help.

If your toddler breastfeeds to sleep, try having someone else put them to bed. Changing the bedtime routine slightly so that there is more time between a breastfeed and sleep time can help with this. Enlisting help for cuddling and settling during the night can help avoid night time feeds as well.

Wear clothes that restrict access to your breasts.

Make sure to spend a lot of quality time with your toddler and give them lots of cuddles and attention to help them feel the closeness they’re used to, in a different way. Cuddling up for a story can be a great time for connection.

How are you feeling?

Mums experience a wide range of emotions when it comes to weaning, from sadness and grief to relief and happiness. These are all normal! If breastfeeding hasn’t worked out how you expected, sad or upsetting feelings can take a while to fade. You might find it helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. The Australian Breastfeeding Association Helpline have breastfeeding counsellors you can speak with to help you untangle your feelings and process them if you need. You can call them on 1800 686 268. They also have this article that you might find helpful: When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out.

References:

Australian Breastfeeding Association (2019). Weaning. https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-info/weaning-and-introducing-solids/weaning

Australian Breastfeeding Association (2020). Weaning toddlers. https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/weaning-toddlers

Katherine Dettwyler (1997). A Natural Age of Weaning. https://www.health-e-learning.com/articles/A_Natural_Age_of_Weaning.pdf